Last week my co-worker, Donna, watched as her daughter (who is 37 years old) went in for another heart surgery (a catheterization – inserted with a tube into her heart chambers). Donna’s daughter has a congenital heart defect and has to get her heart valve replaced. Over the last few weeks, her daughter has become weaker and weaker as a result of the valve not working properly anymore. Every time I heard Donna talk about it, she was always upbeat and hopeful.
Well, the surgery was unsuccessful. They’ll have to do an open heart surgery now as a result...there was just too much scar tissue from earlier surgeries (her first surgery was when she was a baby, and her first open heart surgery was at 5 years old). Donna and her husband came to talk to us after it was over to let us know how it went. Donna came in with red and watery eyes...she couldn’t tell us because she’d cry again. Her husband ended up telling us.
Donna, like so many other moms I hear stories from, will do anything for her child. She is so brave and strong when she needs to be. But, there is a limit. When she came back to work on Friday, she just broke down completely. She said she is so tired of all of this and all she wants to do is fix her daughter’s heart so she doesn’t have to go through a 6th open heart surgery. She said she feels like she is losing her faith in God. She’s angry.
I don’t blame her.
I’m angry for her. And, when I imagine having a child with a congenital heart defect (or any other kind of disorder or disability), it scares me. We go through life expecting that the bad things happen to other people – but God never said our lives are immune to sorrow and difficulties.
Donna is a great mom and her strength through these difficult times in her family’s life is a testimony to how deep and how wide is a mother’s love. Throughout these times, she’s always leaned on her faith in God and I hope and pray that she finds her way back because there is such comfort in Him. And, He promised that he’d always be there for us...through anything.
Over these past months, Mark and I have been praying daily for a healthy baby boy. We didn’t get genetic testing done because we knew we’d keep the baby no matter what. A life is a life no matter how small, as Dr. Seuss said. While we’ve been doing our part, feeding baby healthy things, taking vitamins, etc. we know that ultimately this little miracle is in God’s hands.
It’s amazing to us how much we love this little guy, even though we haven’t even met him yet. But, as he grows, we will continue to pray for him because we are his parents and he is our precious son!
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